gaze lifts, watches the BATTERED BOYfly off, a frown now present on pained countenance. there’s feeling of remorse; doesn’t quite remember DOING WHAT HE’D DONE, but he feels the guilt of it. looked so nasty. his poor baby ! black outs rarely occur. DOES HE HATE RUDI ? does he really ? doesn’t want to be hated. thought is breaking his dead heart. “ t— tuckah, “ he calls out to the boy. “ tuckah—! “ his voice CRACKS.
rudiger waits a few beats, wondering if he’ll come back out. AFTER NO RESPONSE, rudi stands, long legs hesitantlytrudging towards the bathroom. the door shut, locked maybe, he sighs audibly. LEANS AGAINST THE WOOD, eyes blink slowly, tears fall. BADBADBAD ! hurt his feelings! he’ll never love him again !
HIS CHEST ACHES. hand gently knocks on the door, tries a CALM APPROACH. no more fighting. “ m’sorry, tuckah, c’mere. lemme in, mm ? lemme— lemme KISS YER HEAD, yeah ? i ain’t mean none of it. y’know i’ll love yous ferevah n’ evah. “
the quiet is calming, blackness comforting. tucker squeezes his eyes shut and ignores the pain, wants to feel nothing, be all numb and hollow like he’s supposed to be. what will he do now? rudiger despises him, teases him, beats him. siren truly has nothing and the thought of giving into sleep is tempting. but he doesn’t want to go to hell.
ears twitch, hears footsteps and then the ghoul’s lovely voice. he can’t help the anxiety that TWISTS in his stomach so hand reaches up, fumbles with taps. tucker turns the water on, stream right on his ear so he doesn’t have to listen. it doesn’t matter that he’s still fully clothed, nothing matters. lips split, nose broken, jaw dislocated, head throbbing and cracked open. he’ll heal and hide in the water, blocking out the mess of words coming from behind the door.
it’s LIESLIESLIESLIES. that’s what everyone says. they’re sorry but then they do it again and again. and he’s too stupid of a boy that he believes them every time. isn’t capable of learning. is afraid he’ll believe rudi if he begs him hard enough.
